There Is
by Archangela
Summary: *in every single letter, in ever single word, there will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl* D/H angst songfic to Box Car Racer's "There Is". R&r!


AN: Like all of my songfics, I happened across this song, fell in love with it and decided to write around it. Enjoy. Oh, and there's a certain line in this song that just struck me... I put it in bold... just wanted to share.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling. Box Car Racer. I'm awed by the both of them.

Dedicated to: I've been thinking of someone to put into this blank little space. Than I realized that I don't need to.

**There Is**

_this__ vacation's useless_

_these__ white pills aren't kind_

            Draco's lips were pressed together in a thin white line, and the bruise-colored bags under his eyes marked several nights of lost sleep.

            "I'm supposed to be running away from my problems. I'm supposed to be dancing barefoot on some sandy beach on the West Coast. I'm supposed to be _happy, damnit." he whispered as he counted the stars outside his bedroom window. To him, it seemed like they were becoming lesser as the nights dragged by._

            "I'm not supposed to be thinking of her."

_I've__ given a lot of thought on_

_this__ thirteen hour drive_

            There was nothing to do in his blank stone-walled room, no way to escape from the memories filling up his head and threatening to drown him in misery. No way out. Nothing to do.

            But think. 

            And that hurt the most.

_i__ missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9_

_and__ slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights_

            He missed her too much. And here he was, trying desperately not to think of her, but instead, having to cope with her on his mind constantly.

            Trying to cover her up with the sands of time, but instead sitting back and helplessly watching it all blow away with his own uneven breathing.

_i've__ given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have_

_the__ days have come and gone_

_our__ lives when but so fast_

            Whatever happened to her?

            He didn't know now... but damn. He cared. And that was wrong.

            He wasn't supposed to care. But he did. He wasn't supposed to think of her. But he did.

            And he wasn't supposed to love her.

            But he did.

            And look at him now.

_i__ faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor_

_where__ i laid and told you but you swore you loved me more_

            He closed his eyes against the harsh twinkling of the stars outside and called it back, hoping the memory was still there. And yes, it was, ragged around the edges and patched up in some places, but vivid enough for him to remember 

            _her__ soft breathing, and her bare skin against his._

_            his lips on her forehead and that contented smile of hers as she lay her head on his chest._

_            "I love you, Hermione."_

_            "No. I love you more."_

_            And now, as he lay on his bed and listened to the cracking of his heart against the cold night noises, he wondered... did she even tell the truth?_

            Because he knew he did.

_do__ you care if i don't know what to say_

_will__ you sleep tonight or will you think of me_

_will__ i shake this off pretend its all okay_

_that__ there someone out there who feels just like me_

_there__ is_

            "I want to know if you're missing me too, Hermione." he whispered. "At least I know all my love for you wasn't in vain."

            But his words fell upon silent stone statues and a cold glass window.

_those__ notes you wrote me_

_i've__ kept them all_

            He thought of her letters, hidden in his desk drawers, all tied up with red ribbon and a Preserving charm. Her promises, secrets, and confessions, her declarations of love and adoration forevermore. 

            And Draco gripped the sheets and prayed that she hadn't lied.

            At least not in her letters.

_i'll__ give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall_

**_with_****_ every single letter in every single word there_**

**_will_****_ be a hidden message about _**

**_a_****_ boy that loves a girl_**

****

            "I loved you." he told the darkened room. "And I still do. Even though I know it's wrong."

"I hope you read between the lines, Hermione. If you do, then you would have figured out by now, from the letters I've sent you over the years... that I've loved you ever since."

_do__ you care if i don't know what to say_

_will__ you sleep tonight or will you think of me_

_will__ i shake this off_

_pretend__ its all okay that there's someone out there who feels just like me_

_there__ is_


End file.
